She was a 27-year-old waitress and she taught me a few things, two of which I will never forget. The second thing being to always tip 20%, minimum.
Yes, Little Man, Mommy’s cookies suck eggs. Well, not this time biotches. I fucking rocked these cookies.
The waitress came by a few minutes after the food was served to ask, “How are the first few bites?” I pointed at my half-empty plate in shame and said, “The first few bites were obviously delicious.”
Instead I found a Facebook message from my friend canceling our plans a mere 4 1/2 hours before we were to hang out. What?! I got Facebook canceled?!